It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
