I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
