She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
