Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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