i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I need moral support for this bender
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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