WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
