I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
