hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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