can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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