is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
