So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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