the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
