Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
