I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's just like the Real World with babies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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