I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
