If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
