6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
