You can't motorboat a personality
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
