Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
