I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You can't special order awesome
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
