screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
