I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
