Only a mothe r could love this liver
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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