Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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