You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
