the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
