dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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