And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
