I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
