ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
