Will you blow on my dice?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
