she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
