No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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