we're blogging at a bar
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
