dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
