God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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