Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
