How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
