census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
