I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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