okay pat passed out under dana's car
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
