I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
