do herpes really smell.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
