i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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