i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
