I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
