Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
