I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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