I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
