Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have fence marks all over my body
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
