when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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